Report CITCO round 10 – Grand Ducal – 24 August 2017

Well then, that was that. Another FROG season has come and gone. It hardly seems possible. Just as some of us were remembering which held of the waggley stick to hold, it is all over…

Firstly, the bad news. Despite all entreaties, Donald J. Nightingale has refused to go for the hattrick and Tweet last night’s results, and so unfortunately (and unexpectedly) you are stuck with me… so expect more banality than inflammatory… here goes…

The evening was seen of to a splendid start, with Top Gent and Top Golfer Gregor, offering what can be only described as “a Full-Arnaud” on the first tee. Very impressive and so official-looking, that some of us thought we’d wandered into the wrong country club by mistake! But no, it was all for us… Nice nibbles, nice crisps, nice hat and (oh dear) warm beer….so nearly perfect Gregor, so nearly…

Under Gregor’s stern gaze, the golf got underway, with the FROGs showing that they were in no way intimidated by the prospect of a tight tree-lined fairway, and a longest drive mark to chase… especially worthy of note were Will “one-leg” Heath, attempting to take out a couple of the slower members on the 6th tee, and Johnny “Dangerous” Sutherland trying a sneaky “Tin Cup” road shot to improve his distance (top tip John, next time try a path that runs along the fairway… not across it…). A suitable prize was awarded to the latter of these.

And so the evening unfolded, with the many FROGS desperately competing for the almost as many prizes. In fact, such was the allure of the prize fund, that we were able to tempt back to the course such breeds of FROG as the rarely seen Stefano “Milan catwalk” Ciccarello and the Russel “nice tan, nicer teeth” Edwards… good to see them, and all FROGS on the night.

Eventually, the crowds gathered at the bar, marveling at the tales of the shots that got away, and happily surprised to find out that there are still things we even we can learn… things like i) you can hit a sand wedge 200m, even if you don´t want to (thanks Mark), ii) Johan will travel an enormous distance to get a free beer, and to show of his “double-black” combination, and iii) Botty bears a striking resemblance to Nicola Sturgeon at certain angles (although I´m not allowed to say which ones…)

And so, thanks to the various offered drinks from a retired bloke (Russell) and an old bloke (Steve B), it was a happy and relaxed crowd that sat down for an excellent meal and the prizes…

The top 3 were a showcase of experience vs. youth, with Dennis claiming 3rd with 16 points, and yours truly holding off a resurgent Luc on countback with 18 points.

The special prizes went as follows

LD – Russell
Leary – Marco
Nearest – Luc
LD – Mark G
Nearest – Peter B
And the final Bijnens Leary went to yours truly on the 9th (drive and a ¾ lob wedge if you´re interested, I know you’re not, but I´m telling you anyway), which also claimed the overall Bijnens Leary, with a grand total of two. Thanks to Serge for the excellent sponsorship (and beer).

In the AKD Matchplay final it was a reversal of form, with experience losing out to beauty, as Botty beat Peter B 3&2.

And lastly, the overall seasons standings, and the Order of Merit:-

Overall Order of Merit
Rob – 82
Nick Felfoldi – 80
Tony Nightingale – 79 (Botty to double check if he is borrowing a Tony Whiteman score)
T4 Jess and Craig 78

Thanks of course to Citco and AKD, for their excellent and continued support.

Did I say “lastly”??? Of course I’m missing something, the one prize that everyone has at the back of their mind from the carpark onward, the notorious “Pink Ball of Truth”. I must admit, there was some confusion as to who had one this one…. was it Catweazle, was it a caveman, was it our very own Craig … was it Conor McGregor … be honest, have you seen them in the same room? All we can say is that one of them is a ginger-bearded, foul-mouthed sporting icon, and the other is a Irish wannabe-boxer … Whatever the truth, whoever it was, with a magnificent 7 points, they certain PLAYED like Conor McGregor, so we must assume it was he.

After that a word must go to GCGD. While many of us are “conflicted” at the prospect of forking out EUR 60 for 9 holes (especially as “they who shall not be named” get a lower rate), I think we should all acknowledge that the course was in excellent condition, the food excellent, and the service was absolutely first class, in fact the best all year (apart from the hour it took Neil to get his first beer, but that was the exception!). Gregor informs me that collectively we left nearly a grand and a half in their coffers, so hopefully that might help us get a better rate next year!

And so, that only leaves the lessons learned…

No 1 – when showing off your photos, DO STOP at the “me and my mate Richie McCaw” shots … DO NOT get carried away and go onto the “me as a Victorian Hippy” ones… (thanks Stuart)

No 2 – do not hand your camera over with the words “now this is private, just for us” and expect to ever see it back (thanks again Stuart … did you get it back)

No 3 – and finally, Peter Baxter is very old.

End